Words

Here's the truth. I spent most of my life working on the fragments of a fictional story that never had a snowballs chance in hell of becoming a solid whole. All the bad grades I made in school had alot to do with that, among other things.

This story is something I've been working on intermitently with my close friends up to this very day. It started in high school around the lunch table. The only reason I liked school at all was because I had a good chance of exchanging ideas with all my friends on a regular basis.

Since then the work on that project has dwindled, and communication with my friends has been spotty at best. And this pattern is likely to continue for years with no clear outcome in sight. I kinda saw this coming early on, and I struggled to establish a concrete plan of action with clear cut goals. But for some reason plans and goals just make me ill.

I went to college and tried to take some art classes to keep myself interested enough to get a degree. I was hoping I could use my degree to get a good job and throw some money at our cause. When that failed, I turned to business classes. I guess the idea was to learn enough about the business world to stop going to school altogether and cut right to the chase by starting my own sole proprietorship. Turns out that didn't work either.

The biggest lesson I learned in college is that SCHOOL DOESN'T TEACH ME. I can't learn effectively in that kind of structured curriculum. I learn best by interrelating many seemingly unrelated subjects, with no clear goal, according to the demands of my own unbridled interest.

That being said, I can move on and talk about what's going to happen now. I'm going to work on a business plan, my way. I'm going to pour 95% of all my creative effort into it. That means that the way I relate to my friends right now is going to change alot. The most important project in my life is now going to be MINE, and mine alone. When it's a real living breathing thing then, if I can afford to pay you all enough money to keep you around, and give you interesting enough work to keep your interest... well, we'll see.